I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
