Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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