I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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