return my video game
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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