So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize