Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
