Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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