Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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