all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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