Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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