quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I can text with my tongue
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
