we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
