NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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