You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
