Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
