I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
