So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I want to be your penis for a week.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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