I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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