Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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