We're facebook friends in real life
This is not my ceiling
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
