i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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