We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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