I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
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fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
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I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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