Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
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I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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