Got a toothbrush?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You dont lie about slip and slides
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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