I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
