Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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