I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
