Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
