I'm lost and stupid without you.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize