you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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