I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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