Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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