Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
