I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
