Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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