Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Can you bring me the toilet please
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
