his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize