wakey wakey hands off snakey
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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