I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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