At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize