who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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