The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
