He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize