dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
