Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We need to get me chipped asap
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
