woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
