ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
