New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
