Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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