Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
