I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
