Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
