But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can i not drive my cunt home
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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