and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top