The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
