Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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