need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hate all girls vehemently.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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