Life is so much better after having sex.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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