You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
