This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize