OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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